Sometimes, Things Suck!

Today’s blog is going to be fun.

I want to have an honest conversation about how sometimes – no matter how experienced you are, or how far along you are – things still suck.

I’m going to start by being honest about what’s sucking for me right now. I’m also going to extend that to how you might be feeling. And lastly, I’ll offer a silver lining.

You might be thinking, “hold on a second. Isn’t she a coach? Isn’t she all about sunshine and dreams and rainbows?”

And, yes, I am a coach. I work in possibility. I support others to reach ridiculous goals. But at the same time, I’m still a human being. And what I’ve noticed is that when I trust my gut and talk about what’s real for me, it’s probably going to connect with someone better than sticking on a smile and creating some motivational content to compensate for what’s not going well.

I want to normalize the experience that I think a lot of people are having right now. It’s the middle of the winter. A lot of us aren’t getting enough sunshine. And some of us feel affected by Mercury being in retrograde. No matter the cause, I’ve noticed for a couple of weeks that people I am talking to feel like things kind of suck.

For myself, on one hand I just celebrated an incredible milestone of being in business for four years. On the other hand, I found February to be one of the slowest months I have had in a long time. I am getting more no’s than usual. I am having more deals fall through and more people ghost me after initial conversations.

Despite realizing in these four years that the little rollercoasters are normal, I still get anxious every time it happens. I feel shitty. I make it mean something about me. And I bet that’s the case for other people, too.

This brings me to the silver lining: If you’ve surrounded yourself with good people, you have space to share your frustrations. I don’t surround myself with colleagues who go, “Wow, four years in and you still do that? You’re an idiot.” I surround myself with colleagues who go, “Oh yeah, me too. Here’s my version of that.”

Are you being really honest with yourself, as you read this?

If you treated this post like the two of us were sitting in a coffee shop, just venting and being humans, tell me: What’s the thing that sucks for you right now?

Are you hosting events but no one is coming to them?

Do you get great prospects but all of them insist they can’t afford you?

Did you just get promoted but are feeling in over your head?

Just take a moment and be really honest with yourself about what sucks – if anything! Doesn’t the honesty feel kind of nice? Like a weight is lifted?

Now back to that silver lining.

In my personal experience, the more honest I am about where I’m feeling stuck – regardless of where I think I should be right now – the more often I hear from someone who has had a similar experience and can support.

I’ve surrounded myself with a community of people who, when I am in these moments, can see me, get me, offer me training or feedback, and hold my feet to the fire.

I assert that when you are honest about what isn’t working, and you are willing to share it with other people, you open yourself up to receiving the support you actually need to get out of your funk.

I was chatting with a teammate who is in year one of developing her coaching practice. She was getting really judgmental over the fact that there are some people she is scared to reach out to, and then further judged herself for continuing to put off the calls.

It was a really sweet moment, because sure enough, I got to give her the “hey I’ve been there.” And, I also got to offer her some places to go for help, even while she was feeling that way.

To bottom line this week’s post: When you’re honest about what sucks, you create the space to go and get what you need. And those needs are going to look different for each person. For me, it’s usually a venting session and some reminders that I am not the one special loser who can’t figure this out.

And if you are sitting there thinking, “But I don’t have those people around me,” consider this your call to action to find them. To meet them. To get curious about why you haven’t surrounded yourself with folks like that already.

Is it pride? Guilt? The need to look good all the time?

If you’re feeling stuck, but figuring it out on your own isn’t working out, let’s chat.