Who You Are

I went to Greece for 12 days, and my husband and I had such an intimate and incredible experience. We were so present in what we were doing. 

It actually felt like we were gone for two months! How I've been describing the experience is that it felt like the trip fully expressed what I've felt in a really long time. 

The mischievous little girl part of me got to go adventure and play. 

The sensual, thoughtful part of me got to spend time with my husband. 

The Woo-woo, witchy goddessy spirit mama part of me got to connect with being back in Greece and being with my ancestors. 

It was a magical experience.

It got me thinking about upon my return back to work and back to a regular life that I've had two monumental points in my life this past summer, I got married and I went on my honeymoon.

Both of those experiences left me feeling like I was fully expressed and completely true to who I am. 

For many of the clients that I work with, our greatest point of suffering or our greatest complaint in life is that we don't feel like we get to have that fully expressed version of ourselves more than twice a year.

When I say fully expressed, I mean is it's like there's no part of you that's wrong. There's no part of you that you don't get to play with. There's no part of you that doesn't belong in that scenario. It's the part of you that you feel like when you're on vacation or celebrating a monumentous experience in your life. 

It’s my assertion that the reason so many people, especially those that are really high performers in their jobs or their careers or their businesses, don't experience that sensation all the time is because they're too focused on fitting themselves into the mold that they've created to create certain results in their roles.

So, I realized that the concept can be a little heady, or maybe one that people haven't thought of before. So I came up with three different warning signs of how you may only be expressing yourself fully twice a year or less.

The first warning sign is in a way a little bit cliche, but it’s noticing if your work colleagues and your best friends in the world describe you as two completely different people. The reason that's a great way to take a look at whether you're being fully expressed is I assert that if you’re being who you are at your best at work, that it should actually be the same person the people who love you and spend time with you is. 

So, take notice. If you called three of your coworkers and three of your best friends, and ask them to describe you, would they describe the same person?

The second warning sign is noticing what you're like immediately before and immediately after a vacation.

In particular, notice if you're one of those people who either have the tendency to work themselves into the ground and then feel exhausted on vacation, or even more notably when you return from vacation, there's that deep sense of loss. Like that solid one or two days (or maybe even a week) where you are horrified by the fact that you have to be back to reality. 

If you feel that way then I imagine its because you're feeling there are parts of you that you were able to release on vacation that now you feel like you have to lock up again, that you don't get to have in the reality that you've created for yourself.

The third warning sign and this one is a little bit silly and cheeky, but I think it's perfect given that the holidays will be here soon. Notice what your gut reaction is to spending time with family, specifically extended family. We are raised in a very specific way, and we create a version of ourselves when we are with those people.

Even as we grow, and mature, and evolve, and find joy, and peace, and happiness, sometimes when we're back at the scene of the crime, we're back to that shy introvert, or the black sheep, or the fuck up, or whoever you were in your family. And we don't know how to actually be the adult version of ourselves that we are now and that we're proud of.

So, those are just three simple ways to start taking a look for yourself. If this doesn't resonate with you and you feel like, "No, I feel like me every single day of the year and it's great." That's awesome. 

If you have tips for me, I'd love to hear them, because I know this is something that I'm still working on. 

If you're in my camp of "Holy shit, this was an eye-opening experience," but you're not quite sure what to do now that you're noticing these things, or noticing it has you really present to the fact that you want to do something about it, feel free to leave a comment or shoot me a message. I'd be happy to get on the phone with you to have a discovery session to learn more.