In the wake of world events, I made the decision to launch a virtual group – “Heard: A Space for Space during Shitty Situations.” This virtual platform has become the place for people to come together twice a week to feel heard, seen, and acknowledged during these uncertain times.

The launch was absolutely incredible. I opened it with an icebreaker exercise that I believe would be valuable for anyone looking to create connection with clarity and authenticity right now.

It’s called: Rose, Thorn, Bud.

Step One: Share the Rose

Think of a rose – something beautiful and sweet. Similarly, what you share as your Rose is intended to be something positive. It could be something that you are excited about, a win that you have to celebrate, or even something you are grateful for that day.

The point is to connect to something you feel positive about, which is especially important now, given how there is so much going on around us that could have us lean on not-so-great feelings. Some days, the Rose may be as simple as “I dressed up for work even though I am working from home,” or “my partner and I forgave each other for the petty fight we picked last night.”

Step Two: Share the Thorn

As the imagery of a thorn suggests, this share is meant to be something pricklier. You may share something you are scared of, frustrated by, or annoyed with. You may share why you feel sad or angry. Anything can count. What’s most important for the Thorn, in my experience, is to not bring judgment.

Whether you are sharing your own Thorn, or listening to someone else’s, notice if you tend to judge what is being shared. Let go of that. There is power in someone being heard and allowed to clear out what bothers them without assessment or the need to defend why they feel that way.

Step Three: Share the Bud

Just like a bud is the flower just before it blooms, the Bud in this exercise represents something that hasn’t happened yet. This share can be something you are looking forward to, something you wish or hope for, or even something that you declare will happen. I love ending this exercise with the Bud, because it brings us back to looking at possibility. Regardless of whether the Rose was bigger than the Thorn that day or vice versa, the Bud invites us all to look at what is next and what is possible.

Let me know what you think of this exercise, and see what happens if you start sharing and connecting with people in this way.

And if you’d like to practice it, my virtual group will continue to meet twice weekly for at least the next 8 weeks. We come together on Wednesdays at 6:00 p.m. EST and Fridays at 9:00 a.m. EST. Check out my social feeds for the details. I hope to see you there!