Leaving Your Mark

Sometimes when I sit down to write or film, I am completely stumped.

When that happens, I tend to get into my head and freak out a bit. What sometimes help me, in these moments, is doing a card reading.

When I sat down for this particular card reading, I received the message to deliver something in a way that leaves a mark and that speaks to the core of who I am.

It felt empowering for a moment. And then I went off to do what I usually do in the mornings, which was a bunch of phone calls.

On one particular call with a teammate, something interesting happened. I was totally distracted, still thinking about what I wanted to film for that day. As a result, I was disconnected from what she was talking about.

Here’s what was going through my head: I needed time to make notes for my video. I needed time to figure out what this card reading meant and how it would be useful. I needed time to make sure I produced something of quality.

All of this chaos in my brain came from a place of trying to leave the mark that I “should” leave. If you are an entrepreneur, you probably get what I mean. Content needs to look a certain way. There needs to be a level of professionalism in the content. The backdrop has to be perfect. The language needs to be accessible.

While I was “should”-ing all over myself, my teammate was left hanging. Our phone call left her feeling unseen and unheard. In fact, I ended the call with a flippant comment about needing to go film. It was only after I hung up that I realized the weirdness of the interaction.

And it hit me in my gut.

Leaving someone hanging wasn’t the mark or impact I wanted to have. It didn’t speak to the core of who I was. I realized I had a choice. Go and do what I “should” do (prep for a video)… or do what I felt called to do.

I called my teammate back. From there, I actually supported her around what she needed.

This became the obvious choice for me. It was also not necessarily the rational or logical choice. But it was the choice I craved. 

Often, the mark we want to leave—the one we truly feel in our hearts—won’t be reasonable or what everyone else would do. When that’s the case, it could feel scary to do what you want. It could feel wrong.

I felt apprehensive and scared when I made my choice to give up my valuable filming time. However, I also felt whole afterwards. I got to make a difference for someone I cared about, and in turn, that person got to feel seen and heard.

Plot twist: This very decision to lean into my own integrity ended up being the topic of my video and this subsequent blog post.

So, what do I want you to take from this experience?

First, notice if there is a mark or impact you want to leave. Do you tend to create that impact from how you should or from how you truly want to?

If you are not totally sure, here are some feelings you can check:

Choosing from what you should do feels like:

• Rushing

• Overwhelm

• Hyper Focus

• Rationalizing

• Fear of punishment

• Fear of getting it wrong

• Feel of failure

Choosing from what you want to do feels:

• Centered

• Grounded

• Present

• Light

• Intuitive

After taking note of these feelings, I want you to consider that when you are leaving the mark you want, it will produce results that are more meaningful than if you did it the way you “should” have.