Let’s talk about feelings versus commitments.

Specifically, what does it mean to choose from our feelings versus to choose from our commitments?

This is a really appropriate topic for me, this week, since I almost didn’t write anything because of how I'm feeling. I’m going to use myself as an example to talk about feelings and commitments and where we choose from. We’ll also talk about applying this concept to yourself.

Let’s Start with Feelings

“I feel good. I feel bad. I feel worthy. I feel unworthy. I don't feel like it. I do feel like it.”

Feelings are fleeting. I have a mentor that actually describes them as farts because they're there and then they're gone. Usually, if you try to hold them in, they get kind of uncomfortable and they come out anyway… and possibly at a time when you don't want them to, with consequences.

What About Commitments?

Commitments include things like the institution of marriage, a commitment to joy, a commitment to your family, to your children, to your romantic partner, a commitment to your pets, a commitment to your health.

These are all long-standing things that aren't fleeting. You've purposefully defined something around them that is meaningful to you. That meaning exists for months, for years, possibly even for your whole life – especially when it comes to things like your health or spirituality. Commitments are those real, core beliefs that matter to you.

The Differences Between Feelings and Commitments

This is an important topic because many people go through their day-to-day making choices for themselves from their feelings. They are making choices about their life from something that's fleeting and may not exist for very long.

I hope you can see that it's far more powerful and in-line with the quality of your life that you choose from your commitments instead of your feelings.

To use myself as an example, I've had a really long week. As I’m writing this, it feels like a “blurs day,” which is a new way to describe the week during this COVID-19 crisis. I have been low energy.

Fortunately, I'm really privileged. I am healthy. I am alive. My business is doing well. But I'm just low energy. I'm tired. I'm in that “down” part of the pandemic rollercoaster.

Today was one of those days where I didn't feel like it.

If I chose to go with the feeling of “I don’t want to” – I wouldn’t be writing this.

What did I choose from instead?

I chose from my commitment to my contribution.

You’ll notice that I didn’t say I chose from my commitment to writing a blog every week. Writing this content is actually a process that's in-line with my commitment. My actual commitment is bigger than a piece of content.

I have a commitment to owning my contribution on the planet. What that means is owning my voice, owning my talents, owning my love for coaching and leadership development, and owning my love for adventure. It means putting myself out there in a way that allows others to gain value, to feel that they have been served, and to feel connected to me. That's my commitment.

From that commitment, I've done things like create Hear Her Roar and become a trainer with Accomplishment Coaching. I’ve created an Instagram page where I am constantly curating different types of content, training, tools, exercises, and funny posts – all things that are aligned with who I believe myself to be. Another process I have is creating content once a week.

If I chose from my feelings, today, I would have done nothing at all.

But instead, I got reconnected to my commitment. Why does it matter to me that I create weekly content? Why would it matter to anyone? You may not have noticed and you may not have cared.

But for me, it was about choosing from a commitment that matters to me, regardless of how it matters to anyone else.

Time to Apply This to YOU

I want you to notice for yourself – whether it's been this past day, this past week, this past month, or maybe even this past year – how frequently you make choices based on how you’re feeling versus based on your commitments.

If you fall in the commitment camp, how do you stay present to that commitment?

For me, I actually need to create structures to make that happen.

Structures look like colleagues who believe in what I do, reminders on my calendar, little Post-It notes to cheer me on and remind me to be present to who I am. Other structures are my meditation practice and my card reading that has helped me get grounded, centered, and focused into what I want to be doing.

That's the other piece that I want to leave with you: If you're someone who struggles with choosing from your commitments, you may need to identify what the commitment is – or, if you know what the commitment is, put the structures in place to hold you to it.

Are you someone who struggles with this?

Consider that I could be the person to help you out. I can help you establish what commitments are bigger, larger, and more long-lasting than those fleeting feelings. I can also be the person to hold you accountable to those commitments and to create processes that reflect them. Let’s chat.