If you have struggled with putting yourself first, you are not alone. I have made every excuse in the book—no time, no need, etc.—to keep myself from self-care. It took months of practice to start seeing the value in well-being, and here was the moment that shifted where I had been coming from.
Back in February I started therapy, recognizing that I was going through a depressive episode. There were days when I felt that depression really take its toll on me, mind and body. I wasn’t waking up until 11am most days. I was crippled with the thought of facing things that “had to” get done in my day, and I would take more naps instead of doing them.
At first I beat myself up internally for this, saying this was the thing that was holding me back, this was why I was weak and pathetic, and this was why I wasn’t going to move my business forward at all.
After a completion exercise with my own coach around the halt in business growth, the pressure with which I was forcing myself to achieve more dissipated. I saw the pleasure in sourcing and taking care of myself. I left the house to meet up with friends for a movie night and they commented on my glowing appearance.
It was enough.
In the following days, the biggest win I generated for myself was in truly taking care of myself from a place of compassion and understanding rather, than my usual place of “you have to shake this off, you failure.” I checked emails or read books in bed when I wasn’t ready to face the day. I planned goals from the future and made manageable bite-sized action plans to create excitement and ease my worried mind. I let myself get support from colleagues, even if it was potentially messy and I didn’t come off as the high performing individual I want to be seen as 100% of the time.
With previous breakthroughs in self-care, the condescending voice in my head would do a great job turning around and whispering, “yes and you are taking care of yourself to make sure you can go right back to work and do more.” But in that moment I saw how I wanted my life to work the other way around.
It doesn’t have to be about being comfortable and at ease so that you can then go off to generate more successes. It can be about having your successes be what makes your life more comfortable and at ease.
Did any of this sound familiar? Clearly you are not alone. Shoot me an e-mail, let’s take a look at what the voice in your head is keeping you from.